Anger, Frustration or Inspiration

 I just feel compelled to write right now. Got a decent amount on my mind. Dad still has cancer and it's kicking his ass. Which I had to wipe the other night when he woke up in tears and needed help getting cleaned up.

God fucking damn it i hate cancer so much. My dad really is legit the best guy I know, his archaic beliefs not withstanding. 

We still got this obscene pandemic we have to deal with. I am so strung out on wearing masks at this point. Somedays I just wanna say fuck it, I have had enough of this privacy invasion and I just want my old life back, (our).

I'm still doing lots of cannabis and maybe a not too toxic amount of kratom. I tend to imbibe on a gummie or two and smoke until I self...goddamnit I can't even think of the word right now because my brain feels so fried right now. But like when you limit your smoke intake because you know you are approaching the point of wastefulness or being overwhelmingly stoned. 

Portioning? What the heck why can't I think of this word.

Anywho, I figured that if I don't write stuff down I will not remember, and if I don't even remember, how can I correct it?


Also, I think I may or may not finally be becoming more accepting of myself. I am not an evil person. I am at this point really just trying to unindoctrinate myself.